Well, it seems like we're finally here, at the end of 2023.
Man, this year was a rollercoaster and a half, with a lot of ups, with some
incredibly schizophrenic ups and downs, enough to give you whiplash
And since everyone is doing one of these, and I like writting a lot
It's only natural I'd also do my own 2023 recap
Although I did had a lot of trouble trying to figure out where to start
due to how chaotic this year as a whole was

But I gotta do it either way, so we might aswell start with my initial expectations for 2023
My initial expectations and plans for 2023 was making sure this year was better than 2022 was
I wanted to break new heights, do new things, meet new people and in general, just do better
than I did in 2022, which all things considered, wouldn't be so hard considering 2022 sucked
major dick. so I already had some sort of objective or goal to look forward to

And in a way, I broke those new heights at the very beginning of 2023, by getting a job
I know, groundbreaking stuff.
Sarcasm aside, that was already a huge improvement over last year, in which I had to
save a lot of money to be able to afford below-average living conditions and just enough food
to keep me alive. Now with this job, I could afford more things, could actually afford an actual
meal, and in general, I reached complete independence, and in a lot of ways, I learned how to
handle real adult responsibilities, which helped me grow as a person significantly, specially when
in comparision to the previous years

Back then, specially around 2021 and a bit of 2022, I was an incredibly bitter, awful guy
that would just bitch and complain about everyone and everything, mostly because I was
sad and unsatisfied with myself, which made me lash onto other people that were clearly
just minding their own business, and did not deserve my shit at all
I was constantly trying to shit and strike down on others, because it was easier to convince
myself everyone else was doing the wrong thing, instead of me just seeing things for the way
they were, the way being the fact I was just a sad loser unsatisfied with myself and my works
to the point it was easier to try and strike others down instead of improving myself

But then I started interacting with others more, I learned how to better respect others
I learned how to actually deliver and handle criticism, instead of trying thinly disguise
my bitterness as criticism

I made new friendships, rekindled old ones, and even befriended a ton of people I always wanted
but never thought I could befriend before, and in general, I just grew a ton, not only as
creative, but as a functioning human being

In a lot of ways, 2023 was a year of growth, not only because I've improved a lot with my works
like how the website you're currently seeing being made this year, after months of studying
and work, and how I grew as a person and how I dealt with life and others

But this growth didn't come without a cost, I had to go through a lot in order to get where
I am right now.

Just as this year was incredibly productive and helped me improve a lot
It was just as stressful and painful to get through

One of the main problems I had with this year, was adapting to having a job, because despite
the fact I enjoyed having some sort of responsibility, because now I had an actual reason to
value my time, since I didn't have free time 24/7 any longer, my job also left me incredibly
tired and at times demotivated, mostly due to some of my coworkers giving me some
hard times over things that really didn't need to be hard to begin with
And even when I had free time, I was feeling so weak and tired, I couldn't even bring myself
to do the things I like any longer and this really affected my output, specially with my website

Not only that, but living by myself, despite being infinitely better than living with my family
around me, started to get really depressing, because I kept remembering my friends from
my old hometown and how much we used to hang, and I didn't know anyone in the place
I was living only talking to anyone at work, or discord, which wasn't optimal at all
despite how much I enjoyed my time with my friends

But I could manage that, in fact, I was even expecting things to get a little depressing
after a while, afterall, you can only be alone for so long before losing your head

However, when trying to open myself up to new friends and meeting new people, I ended up
meeting some guys on another server I was in, and despite the fact I've heard awful things
about them from my friends and other acquaintances before, I still decided to give to give them
a chance, because maybe they were just exaggerated slapfights, and maybe they could end up being
decent people, or even good friends in the long run

Not listening to my gut instincts and being too soft was the biggest mistake I made this year.

These people were insuffering, specially with how pretentious they were, with most things
coming out of their mouths being a passive-aggressive comment, or something of the kind
and in general, their behavior was just how I behaved a while ago (which is kinda sad when
taking into consideration most of them are older than me) with them going on crusades
with their little group to try and strike down on anything and anyone they don't like and
disguising their pretentious whining as "criticism", which in a lot of ways, helped me
see a problem I had within myself, and the little interactions I've had with them served
as an example of what I didn't want to become myself

And letting one of those people around me almost lead him pulling my friend over his group
and their drama, and that would lead me into dealing with this situation myself, specially
because I felt guilty over letting him near my friend, despite the fact there were tons of
red flags from the very beginning.

And this was a stressful situation that would go on for months, a situation that stressed
me for months, because I wouldn't allow others, specially someone I should've kicked out of
my side from the very beginning.

And I would eventually resolve the situation completely, but the ongoing stress at points felt
like too much for me, to the point at times I almost considered just letting my friendship
just be done and over with

But I'm not one to just give up on others that easily
and despite the increasingly grim odds stacked against me, I managed to solve everything
both me and my friend would admit our faults over that situation, and we would rekindle
things once and for all, and now, I'm happy again.

And despite everything, that whole situation helped me a ton aswell
because it made me realize that I was being too soft and forgiving people that really did not
earn nor deserve that forgiveness, and it made me realize the type of people I wanted to keep
around me, it helped me to remind to keep myself strong when it comes to what I believe and the
types of values and friendships I want to protect and fight for, because if I just gave up on my
friend, I would've lost an amazing relation over people that were never worth the time
to begin with, and none of us would be happy about it, but I think we both came out of that
situation learning a thing or two

And in general, this situation would lead other people reaching me out to help me, and I saw how
many people actually liked and cared about me. They'd ask me almost on a daily basis on
how I was doing, what I should do, and I'd even start talking with some people I never expected
to start anything with over this whole ordeal

It was stressful, and in a lot of ways, it's my fault that this whole thing happened to begin with
If I just went with my gut instincts instead of blatantly ignoring common sense and just pretending
the issue wasn't there in front of me, none of this would've happened to begin with.

But everything's well when it ends well
In fact, things couldn't be better

I have incredibly friends, I've rekindled old friendships, made new ones, made the ones that I had
stronger than they were before, I've matured a lot, both as an artist and as a person, I've even
moved out of my old, falling apart crack house to this new house with my old childhood friends
and now, I'm surrounded by people that legitimately love and care for me, with things seemingly
only getting better as the days go by, with me about to get my english certificate to work as a
translator on a hotel, and moving to a bigger apartment next year, so despite all of the work
I had to put through this year, it was a legitimately good year

And a good part of that was because of you, probably.

And before we close the year, and this post, I want to make some shoutouts

Joe-Mega: You were always such a nice friend, and in a lot of ways, I see you as a big brother
not only literally, because you're big and fat (and has a big heart), but because you're the type
of guy I look up to be when I grow older, a good friend, a great brother, an honest worker
legitimately one of the funniest guys I met, and in general, just an incredible guy all around
I can be incredibly hard to deal at times, but you've never gave up on me, and you kept calling
me out when I no one would, and inspiring me when I needed the most, in fact, my first website
and specially this one evolved mostly because of you, and I'm incredibly grateful for you
and forever will be, and I hope one day I can be as great of a guy as you are (I hope I don't
get as fat tho, I only want a fat heart. Sorry, Joe!) I hope your christmas is a merry one

StaggerNight (Sage): You are such a great friend, you've reached me out countless times
helped me countless times when I had no one to run to, the times we talked for hours on end
and you helped me see things a little more clearly, and learn more, not only about myself
but about life in general, I think if it weren't for you, I would have not gotten as far
as I did. And hey, spending time with you, like when we play Dragon Ball FighterZ or when we're
just shooting the shit, like talking about Gloria or the Annoying Orange singing spanish undertale
will never not put a smile on my face whenever I remember those times.
I hope one day I kaioken get you a beer, and don't you worry, I kaioken get it done, probably.
(don't count on it so soon!) My scarab will be at your door in at least two days.
Happy holidays!

OrkOrk: Man, you're legitimately one of the coolest guys I've ever met, not only you're one of
the funniest guys I've ever met, but you're such a genuine, loving guy, you've been an immense
help to me this year, and being able to spend my time around you, either just chatting, shooting
the shit, or even playing Street Fighter always made me so happy.
I hope you know how much of a sweet guy you are, I love you, man, I hope your christmas will be
a great one. My scarab will be at your door in two hours.

Tiltro: You're such a nice fellow, Tiltro, the sweetest one around
Everyone keeps talking about how you're a good egg, and how being around you always brings
their mood up, and they're right, it's nigh-impossible to be sad with someone like you around
You've clearly made a ton of proggress this year, both with your studies, your art and animations
I love seeing anything to do with your, from your turtles, to your animations, or even just being
around you, seeing you being silly on your camera or the voice chat, it's always so nice to hang
with you, I hope you never stop being the great guy you are, and that you'll always keep smiling
and spreading (holiday) cheer like you always do. I hope your christmas will be the happiest one
I'll send my christmas scarab to you now.

Asura: You are still one of my greatest friends, despite the fact you're rarely around nowadays
I still remember the times we played together, and you were always there when I needed you
I hope you show up more next year, and that you keep being the great guy you are, I love you.

Yoku: You're such a genuinely good friend, I love the art you do, I love the stupid videos you
send me, and in general, you've been a great friend to talk to aswell, I hope next year you can
get a job so you stop being a bum ass!

Wortel: You're a great friend aswell, I think your art is fantastic, you've always offered to be
of help whenever I needed, and in general, it's always pleasing to be around you, I hope next
year will bring you tons of nice things!

Chyra: You were incredibly nice for me through this whole year, I still have all your fanart and
the request I made to you saved on my computer, and I love just going through them from time
to time, because they're just that good. I hope you keep making art and chasing your dreams
to be an animator, godspeed to you.

Oddlem: You're such an incredible person, ever since I met you, you've been nothing but nice
and incredibly supportive of me, at times it felt like you just knew when to come to talk to me
I had so much fun talking to you, not only about serious things, but just talking in general
It always makes me so happy whenever you show up, your art is fantastic, I loved just seeing
you going crazy over cats and birds, you discussing your plans for the future, like your videos
and your programming, and talking to you always makes me feel at ease
I know you think you might go too crazy at times, but I'll say this now; never change.
People like you a lot because you are you, and same goes for me, keep going crazy
And keep going hard, I hope next year will bring you a better job, and everything you're
looking for. My scarab is at your door.

MKMaffo: I'm glad you like my website as much as you do, even though I rarely talked to you
every time I did was genuinely pleasant, you're incredibly nice, and I hope you know that.
Keep shining on, and keep the mafpits coming! (I'm not weird, by the way.)

Octo: You're a shithead, but you're still one of my coolest friends,I hope next year will bring
you a lot of linux, or some gay shit like that, I don't know, keep being funny, I guess.

Stork: You're the funniest fella around, I hope you keep doing all that meth of yours so you
can keep being funny, cheers, and merry christmas!

Daemon: Why must all you trans people be so good at linux? What is your secret?
You helped me countless times with my Linux issues, and in general, you're a great friend, I hope
one day you'll stop wearing them programmer socks, seriously, get them off!

Justin and Meulinex: I'm putting you two together because you two are together, get it?
You both are incredibly nice people, and even though we haven't got the chance to interact
as much you both are incredible people, and I wish you both a merry christmas!
And get Justin out of Splatoon, Nintendo will be the end of him one day, I just know it.

Hatty: Not only you're a kickass artist, but you're just a genuinely nice guy, the amount of times
you made me feel good about myself is astounding, you've been a great friend this year
and I hope we can be great friends next year aswell, happy decemberween!

Wanda: At times you piss me off (I'm not girlcoded you fucking shithead) but you're a genuine guy
I can tell it, and that's a quality I'll forever respect, I hope you have a merry christmas
and that one day you can get as many bitches as I do!

Beatum: At times you're too stubborn for your own good, and at times you can give me quite the
headache, but you've tried so much for me, and you're still trying, despite how many times
I had to break my head over you, but I can see you're trying to do better, not only for yourself
but for me aswell, and I want to be there for you, not only to help you keep moving forward
but so I can grow alongside you aswell, it's very clear you have a good heart despite all your
flaws, I love you, and I hope you love me too, I hope we can enjoy christmas together
and in general, I hope we can enjoy life together.
I'm glad I had the chance to meet you, and I'm glad to have you in my life.
I love you. merry christmas.

Wow, this has been quite the wall of text, huh? But I guess I need to wrap things up.
And we need to wrap this year up! So I wish you all a happy decemberween!
Eat good food, spend time with good friends, and have yourself a damn nice one!

I hope next year is better, and I hope your decemberween is merry
We'll meet again soon, until then, have yourself a nice one.